When I leave from love, I return to love.
I don’t punish myself, and don’t punish others.
When I’m too tired to sit, I move.
I don’t force myself to do things unless necessary.
I don’t make suffering my duty.
Those who see me forcing will know I’m forcing.
When marriage is mostly duty, who is that serving?
I am the child of earth and sky.
I am a child of the woods.
When everything can hurt me,
Nothing can hurt me.
And everything can hurt a weak human body.
So I surrender, and I take risks.
Where I am writing this?
On a smartphone on el Rio Napo
The younger sister to the Amazon,
She is wild and powerful,
And I’m only on a tiny canoe,
I see all the trees she has taken,
Walls of earth collapsing into her daily,
As she digs out new channels under rainforest.
And the trees become part of her tapestry
Trees that could sink this ship.
That could end this tool, and my life.
If I’m too busy worrying about not dying,
When will I be able to live?
I am present to my desires.
I want to be loved, but as myself, loving myself.
I won’t be loved for myself if I learn desires from outside myself.
I’ll be loved for my docileness, my obedience to them.
I’ll be loved as a pet, I’ll be loved for my domestication,
Where is the wild animal?
The surprise, the unknown, even to me?
Especially to me: I want to surprise myself in my wildness.
When they relate to me, I relate to me.
We are the mirrors in the old hallways.
Who were we before we were born ?
Or better, what ether did our souls inhabit?
Beyond Mountains, More Mountains 